I got an email this morning from Limpy Allerdyce. Who knew the old poacher could even use a computer? He’s very concerned about how I portray what he insists is not his slaughtering of the English language, so to show me he knows dem rules, eh, he attached the following. Read and enjoy. This is our last post until sometime in latter August. If you see me in a town in the UP let’s talk. If you see me on a river, ignore me, and press on. Hope everyone has a fine summer.
For 75th birthday, dis man he get dat gift cerkafickett fum da wifey. Dis cerkafickett pay visit to mendasin man living over dere dat Hannahville regsernation. Dis mendasin man rumored have mirrorcal cure for dat pokey pecker problem hit some old timers.
[Limpy he added in an aside, “Me,Holy Wah, I ain’t got dat problem, eh”]
But back to story, eh. After being persuaded, he drives regsernation, hands his cerfkifkett to the mendasin man .
Old In’din, he turn around slow, methodickally mix up a potion, hands it to him, and with a grip on shoulder, tell old coot, “Dis is powerful mendasin and it must be respected. You take only a teaspoonful and then say ‘1-2-3’. When you do that, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life and you can perform as long as you want.”
Da man t’inks, dis sound bloody good. As he walk away, he turn, ast, “How I stop mendasin fum working?”
“Your partner must say ‘1-2-3-4’,” he said. “When she does that, it will not work again until the next full moon.”
The old gent he’s all worked up, see, chomping at bit see if dis stuff work so he drive da truck home quick-like, shower, shave close, put on Canuck fo0-foo juice, take spoonful of the mendasin and invite his wifey to join him in bedroom. When she came in, he took off his clothes and said, “1-2-3!” Just as mendasin man promise, boing-boing, inkstandedly old timer’s da manliest of men [Da chief Green Bay Pecker….]
His wifey, seein’ dis mirrorcal, she ’bout faint, get all flummoxorated an’ excited, began t’rowing off her gear. Then she askt, “What was that 1-2-3 bit for?”
And DAT, all youse kittles and germs , iss why we shun’t never end no sendenses wit no propositions, onnaccount could mebbe end up wit a dat dangling parkiciple.
Tight lines and over. I’ll keep an eye on Allerdyce this summer, make sure he doesn’t stray too far off the legal regsernation
General Stanley MacChrystal’s gaffe ended just as it should — with his resignation. Remember the episode of Truman and MacArthur?
Stan the Man
over in Afghanistan,
shoulda hung up the phone
not yak out his guts
with Rolling Stone.
Since this was not his first
off the reservation
this time made him tender
In our way of doing things
(it’s called the constitution)
civilian leaders pick the songs
and expect our soldiers to go along.
When generals start to sing
a different lyric
it makes civilians
leaders quite hysteric.
PS. If we had just stayed in Afghanistan and taken it to the finish this OBL crap when this all began (i.e., did not divert to Iraq). All this crap might be over and troops might be home.Strategic errors always stretch downstream, the only issue, how far, and for how long. Forrest Gump said it best: Stupid is as stupid does. And like that. Over.
Ms. Elaine Dougovito took second place in the Baraga County Trout Festival, Junk Art section. I don’t classify driftwood as junque. I think her fish is tres cool. Thanks to Chas Marschke for sharing. Over.
This “rackelfrackle” Word Press software couldn’t serve as a crapper for snakes. I lost my narrative, so here tiz for previous post. Jambe Longue and I got back late yesterday from Grayling. Tuesday night we walked into the Deward section with a nasty east wind and few fish rising, and sporadic sulfurs popping, but it is a beautiful stretch and we enjoyed the quiet and solace of a beautiful river. That night we enjoyed the sound of a deluge on the Gates Lodge roof. Meanwhile, our friend and guide Joe Guild was down toward Parmalee on the main river with gorgeous girlfriend Casey and behind them followed Casey’s dad and two pals, who somehow got sideways to a tree and swamped their drift boat at 1 AM or so. Joe and Casey saw stuff the men had been wearing come down the river and charged back up the bank to find the men wet, cold, bruised, and shaken, but otherwise good to go. Next morning was spent recovering the boat.
Many of us enjoy night fishing, but sometimes we forget how precarious it can be and how quick you can go from ecstasy to a near-death experience — or even further south. It often seems placid, but night fishing is not for the timid, and if you’re afraid of darkness, stay home. Please.
On a happier note, Joe reported Tom Izzo will stay at Michigan State for the rest of his career and I felt great about this decision.Izzo is the sort of college coach who makes a difference in lives. The pros don’t need him. College kids do.
Wednesday we floated with from Hole-in-the-Fence on the Manistee River (below M-72) to Yellow Tree, this float and lodging a wedding gift from Robochef and wife J.P. We had fine overcast conditions (a trout sky) and amazingly, Hexagenia limbata flies hatching at 3 PM and continuing to hatch sporadically all afternoon. Unfortunately it’s real hard to trick a big trout into eating a large fly in full light conditions, so we downsized to a #12 or 14 Robert’s Yellow Drake and caught fish on that and a yarn-body isonychias all afternoon. Yarn bodies ride right in the film and fish seem to like this dressing.
We stopped in a gorgeous cedar grove and Chef-Guide Joe grilled marinade steaks and opened a fine bottle of Cab to wash it down. It was a great day, 30-40 fish and all sorts of interesting sights, like the mind who happened onto a family of ducks and created an absolute ruckus and I was lucky enough to capture a photo. We also saw a scarlet tanager feeding on airborne hex flies and in the evening we had burring nighthawks, whose wings make a sound sort of like someone who had taken in a mouthful of big flies and is trying to gag his windpipe free. Something along that line. And we also had a coyote serenade. Often the things you see on a trip are what make the trip, not the fish you catch.
Animal count for the trip: 16 great blue herons, 14 deer, 13 turkeys, 12 eagles, 12 dead deer, 3 sandhill cranes, 2 mink, 1 red belly woodpecker, 4 kingfishers, 1 scarlet tanager, 1 porcupine, 1 muskrat. I wrote the following poem the morning of the float. Enjoy and Over.
Back yesterday from Grayling, where Tuesday night we hiked into the Deward section of the Manistee, and wednesday floated from Hole in the Fence to Yellow Trees. This trip was wedding gift from Robochef and spouse J.P. and our friend Joe Guild was our guide and chef. Another great float: We had Hexagenia limbata flies (Michigan Mayfly) hatching in spurts all afternoon, but in daytime you can’t trick fish with a full-size fly, so we switched to a small Robert’s Yellow Drake (size #12 or #14), found a feeding fish, and bingo! We also watched a mink run onto a log and create chaos for a duck family. We had night hawks, whose burr is like someone inhaled a mouthfull of big bugs and is trying to hacking them out of their windpipe. We also not only had a scarlet tanager, but also got to watch HIM eating hex flies, and as dark fell we were serenaded by coyotes. Lunch were steaks and fixin’s and an excellent cabernet at a scenic stop. We caught fish all day long and had hex spinners in the air at the finish after 10 pm, but the temp dropped and the spinner went back into the trees to await a more propitious time to have their once in a lifetime orgy. The phenomenon of daytime hex hatches on the Manistee is from it being too cold the night before to hatch, so they hatch under overcast conditions the next day. Very strange and wonderful to observe. Fish ate RYDs and Isonychias all day long. Pix follow. Enjoy. Over.
Friends Mike and Sue Webster recently took a cruise to Alaska and of course they had to try zip-lining. Mike describes the experience: “In case you don’t know what zip lining is I’ll explain [it]: We did this near Juneau. It involves a kind of a ride hanging on a steel cable. In our case we rode the wire in a sitka spruce canopy. It involved rides of over a 1,000 feet and heights of over 200 feet at speeds of over 40 mph. After a few zips I got ‘comfortable’ and stopped screaming like a little girl when I jumped off the platforms.” I doubt Sue made even a whimper when she launched from platforms. She’s by far the tougher of the Crystal Falls brace.
NOTE: No offense to little girls is intended.
Susie shares a couple of photos of Big Mike “way up dere in da pure-blue Alaskan air.
Back last night from two days of fishing the Au Sable Big Water below Mio. The fishing and company were great, the catching…not so much. I’ll post pix when I can get them downloaded. I had a grand slam on Wednesday: a brown, a rainbow and a brookie (USP ). To be sure we are clear on this: USP does not refer to United States Pharmacopia. It means Under Six Pounds, which is trout angler code (prevarication) for itsy-bitsy, hinky-dinky fish.
Jambe Longues is retired officially now and today I started organizing for a kupla up-north days with the River Nazi and God, which sounds like an odd combo, but really isn’t. Never got all the fishing gear squared away last fall, so finding flies, tippet, Gink, reels and spools has been royal pain, and of course the dog is giving me a dirty look because he’s figured out he’s not going this time. Last Saturday we went to an art show and the Memorial Day Doodah Parade downtown. Sitting on the mall I saw these feet and thought for sure I was about to look up and find a leprechaun, but nope, just a person with too small a feet in too large shoes and a poorly fitted silk suit. Sheesh. Back with fish pix in a kupla…. I hope. Over.
Irony and coincidence sometimes smack us right between the eyes. I got home from Livingston County about 10 pm last night to find a forwarded note from the chief warden in Arkansas.
May 20, 2010, 1136 AM: West Memphis police officer Bill Evans is patrolling on Interstate 40 reported he was pulling over a white minivan with an Ohio plate, and gave dispatchers the number and vehicle description. Minutes later Sgt. Brandon Paudert reported he was providing backup to Evans on Interstate 40. Moments later came the radio call. Both men were members of the Criminal Interdiction Unit. Because of the heavy traffic of drugs through this area (“Lots of drugs and lots of money”), the CIU has the job of stopping suspicious vehicles at a point where two interstates meet.
At some point in this confrontation, one of the suspects wrestled Evans to the ground and the shooting started. 1150 AM and “officer down call” sounded and police began to swarm toward the scene to support. A massive manhunt began.
Sgt. Pudert was found by his father, West Memphis Police Chief Bob Paudert. The victim was dead on the road, shot in the head and neck and still gripping his handgun. Officer Lee was wounded and quickly evacuated to a hospital where he died.
Over the next ninety minutes Crittenden County Sheriff Dick Busby and Deputy Chief W.A. Wren were wounded. Both survived.
1:06 PM: Someone spotted the van in a Wal-Mart parking lot. Approximately 30 officers were engaged in a shootout with the suspects and dozens of rounds were exchanged being exchanged as Arkansas Wildlife Officer Mike Neil, used his patrol truck to ram the van while taking AK47 fire; this action disabled the the van. A former West Memphis mayor told the Memphis Commercial Appeal that, “Neil’s action probably kept Wren and Busby from being killed outright.”
What of the gunmen? 45 year old Jerry Kane Jr and his 16 year old son Joe. Dad Jerry has long history with police agencies. Kane was a self-styled critic of government and traveled around the country speaking and making videos of seminars about debt-elimination and mortgage fraud, and including anti-government sentiments and conspiracy theories such as the government planting microchips in humans in order to follow them. Kane’s white van was traced to an Ohio organization called House of God’s Prayer, of New Vienna, Ohio. The mayor there told reporters the church had been part of the Aryan Nation in the 1990s. The New Vienna building was used as a mailing address and for sometime-church services and reportedly was associated with deceased white supremacist Harold R. Redfeairn, who headed a chapter of the Church of Jesus Christ Christian.
Jerry Kane had a long history of driving without a license, bad checks, criminal trespass, drunk driving and assault. Ohio police authorities issued an officer caution on the man in 2004 after Kane complained that a judge had enslaved him after sentencing him to six days of community service for no license plate and not using a seat belt. Apparently Kane went into a rant, claiming he was a free man and demanding $100,000 in gold or silver per day. The local chief of police listened to the man rant and decided his folks needed to be aware that there could be future problems with Kane.
Kane then filed a lawsuit claiming kidnapping and extortion against those involved in his arrest and detention. Kane apparently is a member of the so-called Patriot Movement, which doesn’t recognize the authority of the US government and consider themselves sovereign citizens. One JJ McNab, according to Huffingtonpost.com is a Maryland-based insurance analyst who has testified before Congress on tax and financial scams. She said she’s been tracking Kane for two years and that his business centered on debt-avoidance scams, apparently telling people they would never have to repay mortgages or credit cards.
Ironically this is the same “religious” stream as Robert Miles and his Mountain Church of Christ, Christian (also called the Mountain Kirk Church of Jesus Christ Christian. Officer Purdy and I were talking about some of the history of Howell, including it being at one time a bastion for the KKK. Hours later I’m home, read the email, do a little research and bingo, it’s all out of the same flow of bizarre theologies and political beliefs. In 1971 Miles went to prison for bombing empty school buses in Pontiac, Michigan. He served six years of a ten-year sentence in federal prisons Marion and Leavenworth. Later he was indicted for sedition in Ft. Smith along with other members of The Order, aka the Silent Brotherhood.
Kane moved to Florida a few years ago and apparently was headed back there when the shootout took place. Kane carried the AK-47 while traveling the country and practiced at various ranges as he moved about.
I couldn’t make this stuff up. Reality is stranger and scarier than fiction. Earlier that day Freight Train told me about his first police job and making a night stop on a vehicle in Flushing Township and his flashlight conked out at same time. The 320 pound driver had his window open and as Pete got to the windowhe saw the guy groping for something in the back seat and jerked him through the window of the vehicle and handcuffed him on the ground. The man had been reaching for a loaded .22 which he had been reported stolen from a home. When you’re in law enforcement, you need to stay on top of everything, all the time.
What the hell is a patriot who thinks he or she as an individual is “sovereign?” Whacka-whacka-whacka…hear the sound of the black UN helicopters hovering overhead with troops ready to sweep down on America and take it over for the One World Government? Oh wait, there’s a typo. I should have typed whacko, not whacka. It’s a great country, where you can believe whatever the hell you want adn say what you want even if it make absolutely no sense. How about Our Muslim Non US Birth Certificate President Obama’s gonna take away all our guns? Nah, we’ll save that one for another day, because that one’s all fiction. The dead police officers in West Memphis is sad reality.
If you’re a praying person, offer one in behalf of every cop.
Met CO Pete “Freight Train” Purdy yesterday at noon. Pete looks like he could pull a freight train, or knock one over. Ordinarily we might have thrown a boat into one of Livingston County’s many lakes, but we patrolled on wheels and on foot, checking fishermen and investigating suspicious activity. Pete and partner Dan Prince spent Memorial Day weekend in boats, getting burned by the sun an beat-up by water checks. Memorial Day he and his partner spent several hours in a boat looking for the body of a woman who took a bottle of sleeping pills and reportedly walked into the lake to drown herself. As it turned out she had indeed taken the pills, but these had sort of made her go night-night out in the weeds, and she hadn’t made it to water. She found late that day, alive and el groggo. All in all, a great day with an unexpected outbreak of lawfulness among citizens. Livingston has beaucoup water (lakes, rivers) and beaucoup country to combine with beaucoup people. The county is located within an hour of Detroit, Flint, Ann Arbor, and Lansing and to some extent provides up-en bed room communities as a for those cities. Freight Train worked Monroe County for five years, before transferring to Livingston two years ago. While every county is a bit different in its rhythms, etc, I find it reassuring to work with COs doing the same job with such professionalism. Good trip and two firsts for both of us: we checked a threesome fishing and they had a young great blue heron hanging out with them. Usually great blues are very shy birds and make a horrible graaaak! sound and fly away, but this one was hanging around like a dog. Obviously it’s become accustomed to being fed by humans. Neither of us have ever been able to walk that close to a heron before (less than five feet), so we wondered if it was injured, but after looking we say no evidence of a current injury or deformity. Not an hour later on a different lake we saw the same thing, a young bird following an old angler around. I’ve seen gabillions of herons, but never realized how beautiful and subtle their markings are. Enjoy the pix. After this will post a scary report from Arkansas. Over.