Overheard, imagined & out of context, life as we live it in the shadows of others, known and unknown.
* Poet Donald Hall tells us: “Specificity, the descriptions of surroundings, the bits of remembered conversations are essential for the poet.”
* Chichi, neufyfood: “Grass-fed bison patty on gluten free bun, topped with cage free fried egg and sunflower pesto” Waiting for you at Yeah Burger, Atlanta.
* Two old ladies: “Think apricot, not orange. Pale yellow, not phosphorescent.
* “I found Jim lost mom, those hours, those big hours, I just. Menopause is crying in the dishwater.
* On NPR: “The prodragonist in the story.”[and the anti-dragonists?]
* On NPR: “I’m very not mathematical.”
* On NPR: “All Muslims ain’t up to something.” [Didn’t know that. Thanks.]
* On NPR: We can expect two inches of new snow. (not old stuff?)
* On NPR: “I was a former teacher.” [Wow. Of what the science of dethawing ice?]
* On NPR: It’s not the model, it’s the miles.” [Catchy.]
* On NPR:”We are in for several days of sunshine.” [In for?”Sounds ominous]
* Among halfsies, selfies, and falsies where resideth truth?
* The Bubble-Wrapped generation thinks total safety is everydayness.
* Music promo: Wm Parker helps you get to music you can’t get to alone. [I can’t begin to parse this baloney]
* Wondering why people are kicking buckets by the millions while dog hospices prosper in America. Priorities?
* There ain’t no tickets for the Poor People’s Venison Train
* Of Yoopercrats and Yoopublicans. Grand falsies.
* In Atlantic Monthly: “Memory is a mosaic broken.”
* Ad for the channel Animal Planet: Surprisingly Human. [From the school of targeted Bambification]
* Lions versus Eagles, 12-8-13: Commentator says, “They want to use every ounce of space.” [What does an ounce of space actually weigh?]
* Billboard in Texas: “Urgent message – Yes you can know for sure that you are going to Heaven.” (Neither sponsor nor source cited.)
* In a restaurant: “Then she ain’t got no way to get holt of nobody.”
* In a bar: “Back when I was a kid there weren’t no lights off on Halloween. Didn’t have to worry about nothing.”
* Coffee klatch in Noobs: “The old phone don’t work like the new one they give me.”
* In Meijers on a Saturday Night: “That’ the stuff over there, but you don’t use that stuff.”
* Picture god swinging to ska and boot scootin’ with the boot-cut booty brigade.
* Wisdom has been short-changed to game show trivia.
* In the bakery, an article from the The New York Times. “The Effect of Sugar on the body.” (Based on one small study…being in the NYT it will now become cannon.)
* également dans la boulangerie: “I bought tomatoes, thought I might like a BLT and then I forget what else. The tomatoes had no flavor at all.”
* “Tomorrow night, Jack cooks!
* Breakfast at Bucky’s: “Heather, Heather, tell Josie never mind!”
* “I didn’t volunteer to take him but I coulda and woulda if she asked.”
* “Okay, you see what I’m up against here? So she made E.T. out of Cheerios and apricots and so she colored the Cheerios brown, so it was awesome, yup. One year, Jud mailed a branch to somebody, called it a family tree. That was cute. A ladybug seems quite ordinary.”
* Basketball commentator on a player getting hit below the belt: “I think he got hit in his future.”
* Walmart, the largest low-wage employer in the world. Not there’s something to be proud of but you don’t see it in Walmart’s Love-Our-Ass corporate puff ads.
* BBC, “It’s 35 minutes before the hour, and almost half two.”
* UNK, “You can’t put the smoke back into a cigarette.”
* Terry Gross, on NPR’s “Fresh Air,” 1-17-14 to author guest, “Tell me about the photo on the cover of your book.” [Talk about a photograph on the radio. Am I missing something here?]
* Kalamazoo Gazette Headline: “Kalamazoo is More Joyful as a Running Town.” [As opposed to being a bankrupt, abandoned one?
* NPR commentator talking about state affairs: You think the 2014 election is hanging over their heads like the Sword of Damocles?” [Is this reaching, or what?]
* NPR: The SAT is like sticking a dipstick in the brain.
* Leonardo de Brezek’s driveway sign: KCUS SBUC = Cubs Suck
* Chickens can hear, but can they listen?
* Willpower most often shows up as won’t-power.
* Bookend words: Okay and Nokay.
*Red baseball cap, embroidered in white script: I Play Jesus Ball.
* Note small difference between loco and locavore.
* The flippety-flapedy-flap over Obama’s birth certificate: Has anybody seen paper on Jesus? Not El Biblico: That’s hearsay and therefore inadmissible.
* From a British Account of 1772, the Kalamazoo River is identified at Pu-saw-pa-ca Sip-pi, or “Iron Mine River.” There was once a foundry at what is now Riverview * Drive and Mt. Olivet.
* How to shit in a bomb shelter, Cold War style: “Line trash can with plastic, shit and piss in container until full. Cap it off, hold breath, open door, run outside and leave it. Do not breathe until you are back inside. Speed is important.”
* “I said to Jack I’m so afraid I’ll forget what day it is.”
* James Carville: “The dog won’t eat it.”
* NPR: “I’m a former product specialist…I like to put people in their place.”
* NPR: “I’m a priceless option.”
* In Bronson Hospital Emergency: “I know dat I send some to ‘em.”
* Wandering hospital halls a woman poured into jeans, her hair chemically light, on a cellphone, “She has blood clots, blood in her brain, one stroke when she was inside me and another one when she got outside. When she pulls through this I want to know if she’s mentally challenged. I mean, I’ll always love her, but I want to know if for those few months she was normal.”
* Dunes Restaurant, Grand Marais: “Serving lunch? “A little bit.”
* Woman at King’s in May, in Naubinway: “There ain’t no spring yet and summer will be short.”
* Back to the hospital hallway, a fat guy sashaying, right hand holding cell phone to left ear, “Dude, it ain’t gonna change.”
* Asian woman in Lexus pulls up across foot of driveway, signals me to lean over, says “Garrarsarehyrr?” I said, “Nope.” She drove away.
* Res nullius: A thing with no owner and first possessor becomes de facto owner. Legal problems inherent when thing is human.
Sterquinarium is Latin for dunghill. Think Congress, Dead language, dead place.
* Mamihlapinatoapai is that look shared by two people, each wishing the other ill and to initiate something, but which neither one wants to start.
* Conservative radio show. NC restauranteer says he puts up sign, NO ENGLISH, NO SERVICE. Tells reporter. “It’s not about ethnicity.”
Weekly horseshoe pitching league standings in the Newberry News.
Obit says a woman died at the Golden Leaves Living Center. Is the irony not clear?
Michigan has the 10th largest Native American population in the country, 55,000 NAs live in the Detroit area. Report out that some NAs were offended by Code name GERONIMO used for Usama Bin Laden. Consequently, American Indian Health and Family Services is offering counseling for anyone feeling offended. (Detroit News, May 20, 2011)
Progress: 1887: Richest 1 % of Americans owned 51 % of the nation’s wealth. Today the top 1 percent owns 35%. (NYT, May 23, 2011) A possible interpretation: the American Middle Class managed to sweep up 16 percent of the nation’s wealth over a century and a quarter. Wow.
From ATLANTIC, June 2011: “Detectives are gossipy; That’s the nature of being a detective; We all want to know.”
Did you hear about the Yooper cowboy? Died with his boots on in eight feet of loonshit.
Real name from the Kalamazoo Gazette, December 2008: Florencio V.Macadangdang.
Missing Shakespeare Play: “A Most Licentious Episode.”
I know people who have photo albums of the dead from funerals they have attended.
Archie MacLeish liked to say, “A poem should not mean, But be.”
Map this: From Peter Handke: “The innerworld of the outerworld of the innerworld.”
We swim in gibbershite, and have for a long time. Thomas Aquinas wrote, “The looking at a woman sometimes makes for lust.” He didn’t end this with an amen, only a blank stare and trailing voice….Or ululating, I imagine it.
And so it goes. Over and/or out.